Sunday, July 18, 2010

4. Game Time (Cayden's Story)

Chase, bag, and conquer. That was Cayden's game. To him, it was all about the thrill of the lay, and a good story to take back to his friends. Basically, the typical jackass male character in any movie from She's All That to American Pie, and every high school-themed movie in between. Not exactly what I'd call Prince Charming, that's for sure.

I used to think a girl had to kiss a lot of frogs before she found her prince. But maybe it's also true that a frog had to screw a lot of drunk horny girls before he'd leap into the royal waters and try on his crown.

We've all had our hearts broken. We all know a guy who made us cry (or several). We all have a someone who never called. But one day, these frogs grow up. And it's usually when their little froggy hearts overtake their little froggy penises. Yes, I'm aware frogs don't have penises.

Enough with the awful, cliche amphibian metaphors. Apologies. Now here's a story about the first time someone threw a twist in Cayden's game.


After finishing things with Louise, I met up with Zoe a few more times and everything seemed to be going well. That was, until her ex turned up in Cyprus. He had flown all of the way over to Cyprus from England to declare his undying love for her, and had a ring to prove it.

He was about 5'5" tall, shaved head, and about 5'5" wide as well. He was a doorman at a local club where Zoe lived in England. I’m a believer in my abilities generally, including the department of taking care of myself when push comes to shove, but taking into account his measurements and the fact that I was with his girl, I didn’t think I’d be faring too well if he got his hands on me.

I didn’t want to deal with this drama, as pretty a girl as she was, there were plenty more out there, so I walked away.

I was watching the football (soccer) European Championships in July 2004 in a sweaty bar in a village. It was such a hot night, and I’d been out all day in the sun, in sports shorts and T-shirt. I’m sure I must have been sporting an interesting smell as well. The surprise finalists was Greece and being in the Greek Cypriot part of Cyprus, the whole Island was rooting for them to win.

From the tournament underdogs to the champions of Europe, the bar I was in ERUPTED! The Cypriot people could be very passionate, but when it came to football, it was something else. Caught up in the moment, I asked the bartender what it’d be like in the city that night.

“The Avenues will be packed, the nation is going to be going wild. You have to go there and party."

Sounded like a good recommendation to me, so we headed on down there.

The city was rammed! Traffic had halted, horns were blowing, people were hanging out of car windows, sun roofs and off lamp posts with a sea of white and blue Greek flags covering them all. It was an incredible atmosphere so we headed to our local bar ‘The Square’ to congratulate the owner who I had become good friends with.

The mood was crazy so we joined in the celebrations. A little later we headed to the club downstairs.

The club was not as busy as usual with the football celebrations going on outside, but that didn’t stop the tourists coming in.

The room was lively and myself and the guys I was with got into hunting mode, on the prowl. I headed to the bar for some drinks and as I was standing there, I felt somebody slap my ass.

I turned around to see two girls standing behind me, one who was definitely not my type…but I’m sure she had a nice personality, and then another who stood 5'10", about 6ft in heels, and curves in all of the right places.

It was a no brainer. I looked at the beautiful, tall, tanned girl.

"Did you just slap me on my ass?”

She pointed to her friend. “It was her.”

Now you’re thinking, this sounds awfully a lot like the circumstances I met Whitney, the assault from behind, blaming it on their poor friend, but the crazy thing about all of this….I met Whitney on July 3rd and I met Jenny on July 4th (years apart, of course).

The whole of that night, we just laughed and joked, actually attempted ballroom dancing. I fell over in my drunken state and we still ended up leaving together.

I figured she'd be just another girl. Just another hook up. Just another person I wouldn't have to call back.

Boy was I wrong.


  1. I remember 2004, when Greece won the Euro Cup!
    What you experienced in Cyprus, I experienced in Montreal! :) It was beautiful :)

  2. I wish I would have experienced it! Although I'm not much of a football fan... but it sounds like it was a rush.