Kiss the One You Love: Kathryn and Vinny

I need each and every one of you to do me a favor. Remember that NIVEA contest I wrote about the other day? (Two long-distance couples win a trip to NYC to share a midnight kiss in Times Square.) Well, a reader of Fairytale Beginning and a fellow Sooner fan, Kathryn, entered the contest, and I'm asking all of you to vote for her. She lives in Texas and her boyfriend, Vinny, moved to Australia for a 3-year job opportunity. She won't be able to see him again until July or December 2011 (If I had to wait that long to see Cayden again I'd probably have to admit myself into a mental ward. For real). That just breaks my heart!

How cool would it be if YOU helped them ring in the New Year together in NYC?? Also, Kathryn has never had a New Years kiss!! We must fix that!

It's super easy, all you have to do is click HERE and then click VOTE.

There are only 11 days left to vote, and you can only vote once, so it's not like I'm going to have to bother you every day (although I might send some friendly reminders). The couple in the lead right now has more than 800 votes, but if each and every one of you vote for Kathryn and Vinny, we can totally pull out a win! (I know there are more than 1,000 of you who check into my blog daily, so pretty pretty pretty please, vote!). I promise it will only take, like, three seconds out of your day to possibly make their year.

And if you're a super sweetheart, maybe you can post it on your Facebook and tweet about it so we can get all of your friends to vote as well? I know it's all thanks to you guys that I won the Cosmo Blog Awards, so I already know yall have what it takes to make dreams come true :) (Yes, I'm aware that was super cheesy.)

Tweet suggestion: Help this long-distance couple share their first kiss together! Vote for Kathryn and Vinny. PLEASE RT! http://ow.ly/3ojdR

Here's their story and a little more about them:


"I met Vinny while I was in graduate school. The first time I saw him he was standing over the copy machine while I was walking to my office. He was a PhD student and I was there for my Masters. I thought he was in desperate need of a haircut and he was wearing a sweatshirt with the University of Florida football logo on it, which is my least favorite college team. We exchanged a little "smack talk" since my team (The University of Oklahoma) had played his team for the National Championship the year before. It was all in good fun, but I did not think our relationship would become anything more after that point.

In December, my second semester at Graduate school, I got a mass email from Vinny to everyone in our graduate department about this type of toy drive he was organizing. He was collecting "Jared Boxes" which are boxes of toys, clothes, and other essentials for children of all ages that are sick in the hospital. The Jared Box came from a little boy named Jared whose parents would always bring him a little box of toys to brighten his day in the hospital while he was fighting cancer. Unfortunately, Jared passed away but Jared Boxes are still collected by numerous organizations and donated to local children's hospitals. I was really touched by Vinny's compassion for the cause, so I started to look past his love for the University of Florida and Tim Tebow (which is where he did his undergraduate degree) and decided I needed to get to know him more.

We initially started to talk occasionally on facebook chat or in passing at the graduate student offices. It was only small talk, but I noticed that my day would always be a little brighter whenever I ran into him. We went out to the bars on campus or in Oklahoma City a couple of times with other people from our department, and we would somehow end up only talking to each other despite the fact that we would be in a group of 10-20 people. Despite the numerous chances he had to ask me on a date, I went home to Texas for Christmas break dateless and he went to Florida.

When we returned from our break, I got a text message from Vinny finally asking me on a date. Yes, he asked me via text but I let it slide since I found it hilarious. I still remember what it said: "Hey, so I'm thinking we need to go on a date. You pick the day, and I will get my classiest Affliction shirt dry cleaned." (Side note: we both watched Jersey Shore as our guilty pleasure so that is where the Affliction shirt came from) I found that text so funny, that I couldn't say no! On the date the plan was to go to dinner at a sushi restaurant and see a movie.

We went to dinner, where the food was great and the company was even better. I introduce Vinny to the concept of RedBox that night and we ended up watching "7 Pounds" at my house after dinner.

We shared our first kiss after the date, and it was the kind of kiss that still gives me butterflies when I think about it.

After that first date, we became inseparable and I became Vinny's girlfriend. Things could not have been better. We loved each other's company. Some of the memorable things I can remember doing are visiting several Oklahoma museums, art galleries, zoos (including the drive-through zoo in Arbuckle, OK), sporting events, oh-and class. We had to spend a lot of time at school, especially since Vinny was finishing his dissertation and graduating in May of that year. I was scheduled to graduate in August. Vinny had applied to several jobs, and was starting to go on interviews. We had only been dating a month or two when he was offered a job as a professor/researcher at Central Queensland University in Rockhampton, Queensland. It was a great opportunity, but the job was in AUSTRALIA.

To make a long story short, Vinny and I talked about it and decided that he should take the job. We had just started dating and did not know where it was going yet. I did not want to be the reason that he missed out on an opportunity, so I told him that if he really wanted the job then he had to take it. That was in March 2010. He would be leaving June 1. We had roughly 2 months left together. We discussed the option of ending things at that point so we wouldn't have to do distance, but we didn't like that option. We decided that we would just take everything one day at a time and see where things went. To make a long story short, we made the most of our time together and things got serious between us.

After graduation, Vinny and I went on a roadtrip together 2 weeks before he left for Australia. From Oklahoma to Texas to meet my parents and youngest sister, and then to Florida to see his family. It was such a great trip, and it brought us much closer together. When we returned to Oklahoma, I told him that I loved him. Thankfully, he felt the same way.

June 1st was a rough day for us. Taking Vinny to the airport was absolute torture, and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. We had no idea when we would see each other next, especially since it is so expensive to go to Australia and a very long plane ride. It's not exactly the kind of trip you can make in a weekend. The not knowing makes everything worse, so I was a mess for a few days while I waited to hear that Vinny made it safely halfway around the world. When he finally arrived, our long distance relationship began via facebook chat, gchat, and emails. Skype was not an option because Vinny did not have a webcam, so I sent him one. We were finally able to Skype about 2 months into his time in Australia. We have been able to talk once or twice a day, but it is not the same as being together in the same place. Skype can really be a tease since you can see and hear the other person, but cannot touch them.

I was able to make a trip to see Vinny in October for 12 days. I was gone for 2 weeks, but it takes a whole day to fly there. The trip was AMAZING and I can't wait to go back and see him again, I will just need to win the lottery first! Vinny is so busy with work and teaching that it is hard for him to take time off to travel back to the States. The next possible visit will most likely be in July for a conference in Las Vegas. We both need to go to the conference, but who knows how much time we will have to just be together.

Winning this trip to see Vinny would mean the world to us. He would be able to take off of work because he will not be teaching class yet, and I would get to see my boyfriend much sooner than I thought! I know that my chances are not the best, but I really appreciate all of your help!! It's so nice to read your blog and know that I am not the only person who is in a long-distance relationship. :)

If we were together on New Year's it would make the 3 years we have to spend apart a little less torturous.

(Side note: I am a pretty outgoing person and I have no problem sharing things about my life with others, but it was a real challenge to write about my relationship! I feel like nothing I write will portray what Vinny and I feel for each other in the right way, so I have a new respect for how you share your story with Cayden. Vinny and I have not been together for long, but I feel like I have known him forever. We know everything about each other, the good and the bad, and we love each other. I know my chances for winning this contest are slim to none, but it can't hurt to try. I really have nothing to lose, except my palms are sweating right now just thinking that people will be reading about and judging my relationship. )



*

29. Amazing

The next night he took me to a comedy club. I think comedy clubs are the perfect first or second date because you can tell a lot about a guy based on what he finds amusing. If he’s offended by obscene jokes, it’s not going to work out. If he blushes at the dirty jokes, it’s not going to work out. If he’s the only one to double over in a fit of laughter after what you would consider the world’s least funny joke, it sure as hell isn’t going to work out.
But Addam passed the test. He laughed at all the right jokes. I was addicted to his laugh. I almost wanted to stifle all of my laughs, just so I could listen to his. But by the end of the show, we were both in tears.
I was so happy, it was ridiculous. Usually if a guy wanted to hang out every day, it would be a major red flag. But he wasn't ashamed to let me know he wanted to spend time with me, which was handy, because lord knows I wanted to spend time with him. The next night I convinced him to bring his Guitar Hero over because I hadn't played in such a long time. He was afraid I'd think he was a huge dork for bringing a video game, even though I asked for it. So I had to beg, and finally he caved. He kicked my ass in Guitar Hero. I wanted to watch his fingers dance along the plastic keys instead of focusing on what buttons I was supposed to be pushing. I was hypnotized. This also resulted in me looking like a huge Guitar Hero failure.
After we played, I remember he was sitting in the couch and I was sitting on his lap, facing him with my knees on either side of his hips. We were talking about something random when a piece of hair got stuck in my mouth. I went to reach for it with my right hand and he grabbed my wrist. So I tried to reach for it with my other hand, and he grabbed that one, too. He was cracking up as I tried to think of other ways to free the strand from my mouth. I tried using my lips and then trying to blow it off. No luck. Then I tried using my hands again and he'd let my hand get so close, and then pull it away last minute. We were cracking up as I struggled to think of any way to get the hair off my tongue. It was driving me insane. Then I tried to rub my face against his chest in hopes brushing the hair away, but he managed to dodge that, too. This went on for a good 10 minutes, both of us laughing so hard I was afraid we'd wake Stephanie. These are the kinds of things Addam and I did. I didn't care if we were out at a comedy club or just sitting at my place shooting the shit, I was just happy to be around him.
Usually we'd end up in my room so we wouldn't wake Steph with our late-night chats and laughter. That was one of the problems with Addam and I: We had completely opposite schedules. His only days off were Monday and Tuesday. Some days he had to be at work at 6 am, other days he worked the night shift. So sometimes he wouldn't get to come over until 10:30 pm, and I had to get up for work in the morning. I didn't mind losing sleep, but he always felt bad about it. I'd invite him to sleep over, just so he wouldn't have to be out on the roads so late at night, but he'd refuse, saying he didn't want me to lose any more sleep, so he'd kiss me goodnight and leave by 2 am.
I remember the first time we did more than kiss. We were laying on his couch watching Planet of the Apes. I was on my back, he was on his side with his arm draped across me. We started kissing, and his hand slid up my stomach, but on top of my shirt.
"Whoa, you have huge boobs."
He said it like he'd just discovered a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Finally, he noticed I had boobs. He was so modest and respectful, he was always careful not to move too fast or make me feel pressured. Well, I was two seconds away from shoving his hand up my shirt before he finally said that.
"Thanks. I grew them myself!" I said with a laugh, because what else are you supposed to say in that situation?
His hand slid under my shirt.
"Is this OK?" He asked, keeping his hand on my stomach.
I nodded. It was more than OK. I'd been dying to do more than kiss him every night we'd been together. But, again, just like with Brady, karma was coming back to bite me in the ungroped ass. I realized from then on out I was destined to only date prude guys.
He kissed me harder as he let his fingers trail over my bra. His other hand slid to the back of my neck, and then up into the back of my hair. He gathered my hair in his hand and pulled back on it as he kissed me. Shit. He found my weakness.
I pulled away.
"Umm, I have to go," I said with a shaky voice.
"You can stay, if you want to." He said as he kissed me again and tangled my hair into his fist. Oh man, did I want to stay. Every cell in my body wanted to stay. But I knew this wouldn't lead anywhere but second base, and I couldn't handle the torture.
"You know I'd love to, but I have to get up early. I should go."
"If you say so," he said with a smile. He knew he was teasing me. Jerk.
He walked me to the door and then backed me up against the wall to kiss me again. I let him. I couldn't resist an Addam kiss. But then I forced myself out the door and into my car.
I locked the car door once I was inside so I wouldn't be tempted to crawl back out, back into his arms.
---
The first night he slept over at my place, I was lying on my side and he was spooned behind me. I was almost asleep when he whispered, "Whitney?"
"Hmm?" was what I was going for, but it probably sounded more like a snort-gasp because his voice caused a mini falling dream.
Then he held me tighter and whispered, "You're amazing."

19. The Replacements

There were a few more back-and-forth emails that I won’t bore you with. More of him explaining how much he likes me, but he’s just trying to be realistic. More of me saying I was hurt because it seemed like he didn’t think I was worth the hassle of a long-distance relationship. We were going in circles, and I knew I shouldn’t respond, but I couldn’t stand the thought of not talking to him, even if I was only accusing him of not caring about me.

Finally, I cut off communication. Every once in a while I’d respond, write down any mean, hurtful thing I could think of. But I’d delete it before I’d send it. I had to forget about him.

A facebook chat popped up later that week from my friend Brady. We had a *thing* back in college. It wasn’t dating because we didn’t go on dates. But it wasn’t just hooking up, either, because I can count the number of times we had sleepovers on one hand. I met him at a party. He was tall with brown hair and green eyes, and I could tell by the way his shirt tightened across his chest that he had a rock-solid body under there. He kissed me that night. I was drunk and thrilled.

Turns out we had a class together. Ballroom dancing of all classes. We waltzed, tangoed, foxtrotted, and cha-cha’ed together the rest of the semester. He’d come over on Monday nights to watch Laguna Beach. It was his guilty pleasure. He’d kiss me when he left, and sometimes he’d put his hand on my leg while we watched TV. But nothing ever came of us. He was switching schools after that semester, moving to Texas to attend chiropractic school, so he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship of any kind. That, and I’m pretty sure I was more interested in him than he was in me. Anyway, he moved that December and we kept in touch every now and then. He started dating a girl named Rae when he moved to Texas, fell in love, and had been with her ever since. Lucky bitch.

That was four years ago, so the random Facebook chat caught my attention.

B: Are you busy?
W: Not really, what’s up?
B: Things aren’t good with Rae.
W: Aww, I’m sorry. What’s going on?
B: I messed up.
W: Uh-oh, this doesn’t sound good.
B: We broke up. Well, she broke up with me.
W: OK, I’ll ask the obvious. Why?
B: Her mom and I kissed, and she found out.
W: WHAT???
B: We were really, really drunk. She kissed me. I didn’t pull away in time. Her cousin saw it and told Rae.
W: Holy shit. That poor girl.
B: I know, I really, really messed this up.
W: Well, I don’t really have sympathy for you right now, because that’s pretty fucked up. So, being that I’m not full of words of wisdom for you, is there anything else I can do for you?
B: Yes. I can’t stop thinking about her. I just want to call her, but she doesn’t want me. So, can I call you instead? You know, so I don’t call her?

Well, wasn’t that convenient? I needed someone to take my mind off Cayden, and he needed someone to take his mind off Rae. I knew I had to be careful though, because we were both vulnerable, and I was about to move back to Texas, where we’d be living in the same city. Sounded like a perfect set up for some really bad ideas down the road.

W: Of course, call me whenever you’d like.

My phone rang.

----

My roommates threw me the best going away party I could have asked for. We all dressed up and went out to a fancy restaurant none of us could afford. Then we threw a huge bash on our roof. Everyone came. That night, we had the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen in my time in NYC. Hell, it was the prettiest sunset I’d seen in my life. It symbolized a beautiful ending. An ending to my time in NYC. An ending to me and Cayden.



After the party, I wanted nothing more than to email Cayden to tell him all about it.

So I called Brady.

10.5 Why I usually don't trust men, cont.

Casey walked in my front door and I went into the kitchen to make a sandwich, hoping to keep my kitchen counter between us while I said what I wanted to say.
“So is that what you mean when you say, ‘If you really knew me, you wouldn’t like me’? Is that who you really are? An abusive woman beater?”
My hands were shaking as I spread the peanut butter onto my bread.
“So she told you. I knew I shouldn’t have left you two alone.”
“Casey, how could you?? How can you be so nonchalant about this?”
My voice was verging on the shrilll side.
“Well, she pissed me off. “
“Oh, she pissed you off so you hit her?”
“She doesn’t know when to quit. She just nags and nags and nags, and then I hit her.”
I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. How could this be the same Casey who cuddled me in bed every night, the same Casey who played basketball with my cousins after my sister’s wedding, the same Casey who stole my heart.
I concentrated on peanut butter, the jelly, the bread, the butter knife in my hand. These were the things that made sense. These were the things that didn’t change. Peanut butter was always peanut butter.
By the time I looked up Casey was behind me. It wasn’t until then that I realized my mistake. I was home alone. I was home alone with a person who was capable of kicking a girl in the ribs. A girl he loved.
I turned around to face him, gripping the butter knife as my only defense. He grabbed my wrists and held them against the counter behind me. I was pinned. He tried to kiss my neck.
“Casey, STOP. I’m serious, stop.”
Don’t panic, dont’ panic.
I tried to pry my hands out of his, but I knew he was stronger than me for sure. He tried to kiss my lips and I turned away, Letting him kiss my neck while I came up with a plan. If I screamed, who would hear me. I have a can of mace around here somewhere. Of course those things are never handy when you need them. Tori, my roommate, should be on her way home soon. She wouldn’t think twice about cutting his balls off. I think she’d actually look forward to it.
I knew if I panicked, I’d be completely defenseless, but I knew I couldn’t let this happen. So I gathered all my strength, took a deep breath, and shoved against him as hard as possible, freeing my hands.
He laughed. It was an evil laugh.
“You think you’re stronger than me? That’s cute,” he said through laughs.
“Leave. Leave right now.”
I heard Tori’s key in the front door and felt instantly safer. She walked in wearing her work uniform, her arms fulll of school books.
”You would not believe the day I had at work today,” she started, and then saw the look in my eye that screamed HELP.
She looked at me, then looked at him. Then she came into the kitchen, opened the knife drawer and pulled out the largest, sharpest knife we own.
“What are you doing?” Casey asked, no longer amused.
Then she opened the fridge and pulled out an apple.
“Oh, just cutting fruit, is that OK with you?”
She kept her eye on him as she sliced through the apple, right through the core, splitting it in half. An example of what she’d do to his balls if he tried anything.
“Casey, leave. Now.”
Tori’s knife was dripping with apple juice.
“Yes, I think it’s about time you left, Casey.”
“Fuck this,” Casey said as he grabbed his keys and stormed out the door.

Never again would I trust another boy. Never again would I give my heart away. That happened about two and a half years ago. After that night, I tried to help Katie get away from him, but he convinced her I was just trying to get him all to myself. She believed him. She loved him. Love is a twisted thing.

I still talk to Casey today. I still talk to Katie today. You’ll be happy to know that today Katie is stronger and more beautiful than ever. She’s in a trusting relationship with a man who treats her like a princess. Casey hasn’t hit a girl since August 10, 2009. He admitted to me that out of al the girls he’d ever been with, I was the only one he hadn’t hit. I asked him why.
“I never wanted to.”

1. Once Upon a Time

I'll start from the beginning, and through these posts I'll bring you to real time.

July 3, 2009


I saw him standing nearby laughing about god only knows what over drinks with two friends. I only watched him for a minute or two, but I knew I wanted to know him. Something about the way he stood out from his friends—taller, darker. Something about the way his whole face smiled when he talked, not just his mouth, but his eyes, his cheeks, and even his ears seemed to smile. It made me wonder what had him so amused. I was only a few feet away from him, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. The music was too loud, the bar was too crowded.

“Hey, I’m going to go make that random guy buy me a drink," Lynn said.

I turned in time to watch her make her way to the bar and squeeze in next to a sketchy-looking 30-something who had that I’m-creepy-but-I’ll-buy-you-a-drink look about him.

“Yeah, I’m running low, too. I need to find a guy to buy me a drink.” This from Nicole, my innocent-looking college friend who just turned 21, new to the whole bar scene but catching on quickly.

Danielle just shrugged, her drink needing refilling as well. I didn’t so much care that my drink was almost empty. I wasn’t in the mood to drink, and truthfully I hadn’t even felt much like going out that night. But I was there, one drink down, may as well make the most of it.

I’ve been known to be the outgoing one, the one who will talk to anyone and leave the bar with a few new phone numbers in my contact list. Some of them I’ll call, some of them I won’t. Some become random hook ups, some become friends, others just fall by the wayside.

I wasn’t sure which category the tall smiling man would fall into, but I didn’t care. I just had to meet him.

But which approach should I take? Should I push through him and his friends to get to the bar, with a hand on his side to move him over while saying a polite “Excuse me,” as I passed, and keep my hand on his hip a little longer than necessary? Maybe he’d follow me to the bar and buy my next drink. It’s happened before. Or should I walk past him and graze his butt with my hand just so, so he wouldn’t know if it were on purpose or an accident. And then I’ll look back once I got to the bar and give him a half smile.

But then my elementary flirting skills got the best of me and I decided to play old-school style. I reached my leg behind Danielle, and gave him a blatant kick in the ass and then went back to my chat with my friends, pretending to be a part of their conversation about their next drink choice.

He looked over at us immediately, with a somewhat amused somewhat shocked look on his tanned face. I could feel his eyes on our group, trying to decide if someone had in fact kicked him on purpose or if he'd had one too many drinks and he had imagined the whole thing.

I let him wonder for a few seconds, and then I finally shifted my eyes to his. He gave me a confused look that I knew meant "Did you touch my butt?" I shrugged innocently and pointed at Danielle, who wasn't aware of the kick or the point, her only concern: how to get her glass refilled without relying on Lynn's method of flirting with the ickies. Before Mr. Tall, Tan, and Sexy could approach, Danielle and Nicole yanked me to the bar for refills.

I felt him come up behind me before he said anything. He didn't touch me, I just knew he was there. I felt his eyes on me. I turned, and, sure enough, standing at what must have been about 6'3" with brown hair, his brown eyes with a hint of green looked down at me. A curious smile played on his lips.

"It was her, I swear." I pointed at Danielle as her face clouded over with nothing but confusion.

"Is that so?" This from Mr. Tall, Tan, and Sexy.

Was that an accent I heard? No. Surely Mr. TT&S couldn't also be sporting an adorable accent. Those things didn't happen to me. That only happened in cheesy Julia Stiles movies.

"Well, I'm Cayden," he said as he held his hand out for me to shake. Surely that was an accent. What kind? I couldn't tell. Maybe his skin color was natural and he's hispanic. Or Greek. Or maybe he was just blessed with more melanin than most and an addiction to the outdoors. I couldn't be sure.

"Whitney," I say as met his hand with mine.

For the next hour or two, there was no bar. There were no friends. No ickies. No music. No nothing. Just me and Cayden. Just his British accent, my light-hearted laugh. His tanned hand resting on my tanned leg. His eyes, the exact same color as my own. His stories. My stories. His half Pakistani background, my half Cuban background.

Talk. Laugh. Touch. Repeat.

I forgot where I was all together until I heard "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" chanted all around me. It tore my eyes away from his. All of a sudden the room filled in. My friends were around us. His friends nearby.

Lynn seemed to be the ring leader in the chant, her camera was out and ready to capture the moment. How long had they been standing there? How long had we been talking? It must have taken me a full 15 seconds to bring myself back to reality. I looked at Danielle and Nicole, their faces eager. I looked at Lynn's camera lens, her finger hovering over the button.

I looked at Cayden.

We shrugged.

We kissed.

The camera flashed.