Sunday, May 22, 2011

Your Stories: A Man's Perspective

I'm excited to say I got my first email from male reader this weekend! It kind of made my day. Anyway, he has some great questions in here, and I'm looking to your guys to help with some advice. Here goes:

Hello Whitney,
I was curious, do you ever get any emails from guys regarding your blog? If you haven't, you are now.
I'm a guy in my 20s having a lot of trouble with the ladies during my life and stumbled across your blog while surfing the internet looking for advice articles. As somewhat of a creative writer myself, I appreciate good stories and yours is, simply put, amazing. The details you use really seem to bring it to life. I have read almost every single "chapter" and quite frankly, I am not only amazed, but suprised bordering on shocked as well. I have never heard of any "normal" every day ladies such as yourself willing to disclose such personal, intimate, or sexually explicit details like you divulged in your blog.
So now that you know I am a guy, I was wondering what you think of guys who read stories such as yours? I think of myself as a hopeless romantic and your story is just about as romantic as it gets. I'm also a sensitive guy and not afraid to admit it either. Unfortunately though, these characteristics don't seem to be playing to my advantage with women. Also unfortunately, growing up with a sensitive single mother, that's all I learned how to be. I'm drastically behind when it comes to flirting, and even further behind in the looks department. Finally, my social awkwardness is off the charts. I try my best to project a strong, confident aura when I'm around women with little to no results.
One day I hope to win a young lady's heart like Cayden won yours. Until then, I will continue to read your story while I keep trying.
Best of luck!


Do you have advice for him? Can you relate? Know someone who does? Please comment below!


  1. My best advice to you is a 3 step program.

    1. Stop being sensitive
    2. Give up on romance as reality and look at it as an abstract ideal
    3. Stop giving a shit about what others think and your awkwardness will lessen and your confidence increase.

    Tip: Flirting starts with the eyes and complimenting a woman's smile is a safe start.
    Hope this helps.


  2. In my experience, if you are a) looking for love and b) a hopeless romantic, you are likely to not find what you're after. Stop looking for it, stop taking yourself too seriously, just go with the flow and see what happens.

  3. There are loads of ladies out there who love a hopeless romantic and a sensitive guy. Also he needs to get some confidence in himself before anyone is going to notice him. He might think that he's not good looking but I am willing to bet there are more than just a few girls out there who do. If you don't believe me look at shows like criminal minds, Reid the nerdy, awkward, too smart to communicate properly with any woman is everyones favorite character, I would kill to date a guy like Reid! Also if you put yourself out there, you may get turned down a couple of times but you'll also be closer to finding someone every time you do.

  4. Ok, reality check here from another guy:

    There are almost 7 billion people on Earth. You will never be the ugliest or the most sensitive - by a long shot. So stop thinking in short sighted terms, and start thinking big picture.

    Flirting is all about being comfortable, plain and simple. If you aren't comfortable in a situation and your trying to flirt or act cool, you are going to have a really difficult time. So now that you aren't freaking out about being the ugliest or too sensitive, go ahead and put yourself in a comfortable situation - i.e. have good friends around you or be at your favorite bar/hangout spot.

    Ultimately, you will get turned down at some point- so like pinchaninch said, just go with the flow. Again, there are so many people out there, don't get hung up on one that didn't get the message!

    And last but not least, keep reading Whitney's stuff because you can get great advice from her - for real. Buy her iPhone app and keep it handy!! :)

  5. Definitely start becoming confident in yourself! Also, I am in love with a sweet guy who is a hopeless romantic. We met on a dating site. I'm surprised to say that dating sites work!

  6. Confidence is as confidence does. You may say you project confidence around the ladies when you're out and about, but your messages tells us girls you're anything but. Chances are, the shy, self-conscious self is taking over your outings.

    Break out of your shell.

    Don't be someone you're not. Be yourself and OWN it. The right girl will love you for you: socially awkward, hopelessly romantic and whatever plight you think you have in the looks department.

    If I've learned one thing in my past relationships, it's that you have to love YOU before you can love someone else.