Monday, August 23, 2010

Hope from L

If you have a moment, I'd love for yall to read this bad-ass story from "L." It gives me hope!!
(My comments after the asterisks)

Hello Whitney,
Right I'm gonna attempt to do this without sounding like a creepy blog stalker!

**Please don't feel creepy! I LOVE hearing from yall. In fact, I wish I heard from more of you!

First and foremost, I love, love, love, LOVE your blog. I've sat down for 4hrs and 30-odd minutes to read the whole thing from start to finish. It is by far the most entertaining blog I have ever read, plus it is down to earth, real and very honest. I've only ever really paid attention to 2 blogs but you have me truly hooked. The love you feel for Cayden is beautiful and I wish you both the best of luck and I really do hope you have a happy ever after. Also I'm so excited that you get to see him soon!! I've cried, laughed, felt angry, cried some more and laughed some more on your journey. I feel as though your words come alive through the screen, I can imagine it all in my head, and I wish I had cool best friends like you.

**You probably do! I'm just a regular ol' gal.

Your own fairytale reminded me of my own (I have to share!). I never really had a 'serious' boyfriend at college, I was the friend who played around a bit, kissed a lot of frogs but no luck. I was the freak between the sheets though I've only slept with 4 guys . So my expectations for my university yeas were very high. I wanted to get drunk, meet new guys and some girls, go to a party every week and have a great time. I moved away from London (how could I give it up you say?) to move to university up north, and to also get some distance from my family. I needed to grow and make a few hundred mistakes without being told off every time. I had my first one night stand a few months into my first year, which never happened again btw, but by then, I realised prince charming wasn't going to come rescue me. Fast forward a year and a half of painful online dating, a 6 month 'relationship' with a guy I never met but knew in every way possible (way too many issues with his ex), a month of being 'bi-curious' and a irish man who was so drunk he couldn't figure out what he was doing. I just couldn't get a break! So I swore off men soon after arriving back in London for my 2 months summer holiday.

**Bicurious and an Irish drunk?? Maybe you should be the one with the blog!

Though I had sworn off men, i still belonged to a dating site which was a great distraction with quizzes and stupid games during my internship at a accountant's office. My second week there, i got a message, or rather a 'woo' off this random guy called Mark. We started talking, or rather writing essays to each other. Turned out we had a few things in common and we quickly became best friends, swapping emails at least 2-4 times a day, essay length. To say i couldn't get enough of him was understatement. I'd fall asleep with my webcam on just so he could watch me sleep or vice versa. He'd get up early just to send me off to work with a sleepy smile and then I'd await his email throughout the day. It was sickening to most of my friends, somewhat creepy too considering I'd never met this guy yet.

**Truth be told, Cayden falls asleep on the webcam, too, and I prop my laptop up on a pillow and tuck him in so it looks like he's sleeping next to me. Who's the creepy one now?

2 weeks later, we hypothetically started talking about our future....would we be just FWB's or could there be actually something more? I was up for finally getting some good, friendly, happy sex but with him, i wanted so much than that. If i posted the emails we wrote, your gag reflex would probably kick back in :)

**Oh don't worry. I still gag at other peoples' romance :)

On a spur of the moment conversation on a lovely Thursday afternoon, I dared him to meet me at Victoria Station at 5pm, after I finished work. I should mention he was 27miles away from me at the time in Reading, a town slightly outside of London and the train would take an hour and a half maximum. He agreed to meet me, I'm sure it was just to prove me wrong that he wouldn't turn up and then the butterflies kicked in. I was in my work clothes and a bit tired but there was nothing i could do about looking a lot less than glamorous. After a quick call to my best friend, he wished me luck and prayed I wasn't raped or killed. This wasn't the first time I'd done this so he was used to random things like this. We met in a store called Lush (you have to try it, they've got the most wonderful smelling bath/shower/body stuff....edible massage bars too :p).


I wouldn't say we clicked immediately face to face, a lot of nervous grinning and wondering what the hell do we do now! But a few minutes after we left the station, we were holding hands. He bought me subway, we talked and walked around for a bit before taking me back to the station to get my train home. Like the brainless idiot that I am, I got carried away pointing to news story on the big screen screen, and didn't notice he had leaned in to kiss me. As soon as i noticed, he had already backed away :( I prayed for a hole to open up underneath me and spare me the embarrassment. I still kick myself to this day over that but he just laughed it off and took me home on the train. He touched me in any little way he could, but it wasn't enough, and I didn't want to say goodbye. By no means did I want to sleep with him right there and then but I wanted a few more hours of watching his face when he smiled, how his skin felt to my touch or how adorable he was when fidgeted under my gaze.

**Don't lie. You wanted to sleep with him! How could you not?

So I though I'd sneak him into my parents place (they were kinda strict on boys, or maybe just sex in general) but trust my luck, everyone was home that night. So after a few quick excuses to my mum, I got changed and met him at the park behind my house. For 3 hours, we did nothing but talk, joke around and basically flit around kissing each other. But he had to go home or he'd miss his last train home so I took him to the station. We had a 25 minute wait till his train came along, and we were both feeling sad at the prospect of saying goodbye. I'd only met this guy and I was acting like a love struck teenager! What happened next is a testament to what celibacy does to you. We wandered around and ended up on a road that was off the path, stood there talking about god knows what because I can't remember and next thing I know, we're making out as if it is the last thing we'll ever do. For 20 mins, I got as close to him as I could in semi-darkness, with clothes between us and nothing but our lips doing the talking. And then i had to let him go. The next time i saw Mark was via webcam that night. I'd never felt to sad or defeated. Here was a guy who made me melt and I couldn't be with him or have him.

**Welcome to my life.

4 days later, we were on the coach to Liverpool for a 2 day mini break. How we got to this moment is sorta crazy and probably dangerous haha. Before our spur of the moment meet up, he'd agreed to come up to Liverpool with me to help me hand in a few things for uni. It didn't require two people but it was a chance at being alone a hotel room. Both our sets of friends said it was nuts, we hadn't even met and we were off on a break together but I didn't doubt our actions or decisions. He came over to my house on Monday night (i sneaked him in successfully) and we left together Tuesday morning to catch the coach as boyfriend/girlfriend. This all sounds too fast but we were that honest/forward with each other. Hypothetical was good enough when we were apart but face to face, i couldn't deny i wanted him in my life on a more permanent basis and he couldn't deny he wanted me. I'll spare you the details of the hotel break, we didn't sleep together, not only because i wanted to wait till we were in a position to do it more than once for the next 5 weeks, but also it was too damn sweet to just lie next to Mark and fall asleep in his arms or his chest. The first time we 'slept' together, I woke up still entwined in his arms and way too hot but it felt like home.

**Gotta love that cheek-to-chest sweat/drool pool.

Now I know this is already too long, and you deserve a award for getting this far but there's more. Before I met Mark, I was seeing a old ex of mine. We'd literally been back together about 3 weeks but no matter how hard I tried, I knew I couldn't force myself to be in love with him. When things started to get serious with me and Mark, I told Anton (the ex) that it was over and we would be better as friends. He sucked at communicating and i had been ignored for the last week so i thought he had moved in his own 'I can't be bothered to text you to tell you' way. Okay so on our trip back to London...

**I want to go back to London.

I got a text message from Anton, apologising and claiming that he would try harder at talking about his feelings. I mean its awkward enough to get a text from a ex, but Anton had to go one step further. He proposed in the middle of the text, asking me to call him cos I was the one he loved! Oh the awkward look on Mark's face, it was unbelievable. I had to laugh, before reassuring Mark it was him I wanted to be with, no one else. After this minor hiccup, and several more texts from Anton, me and Mark slipped into a routine of msn, phone calls and sleep overs whenever we could. He'd sneak into my house whenever the house was empty, cuddle me throughout the night, go with me to work the next morning then go back home. We only got caught once by my brother but he didn't rt me out:)

**Brother of the Year award!

Our first proper date was on a boat cruise (next time your in London, go on the Clipper, see London from the water) followed by dinner and a movie. It was a 9 hour date but it was worth it for the freakout my step dad had for me being out so late (really overprotective parents here).

**Hey Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, thank you for being bad asses!

While I'd love to say it was wonderfully romantic and nothing could have ruined it, university kinda ruined it 2 and a half weeks later. I had to move 3hours and 30 minutes away...BANG!....welcome to a long distance relationship. For 11 months, we struggled. I'm not ashamed to say I cried several times in a week, let alone a day. I missed him like i missed a heartbeat. We saw each other when we could, about once a day every 2 weeks so nothing like you and Cayden but I admire your strength for going the distance. I was a wreck at 2 weeks, I can't imagine how I would have been at 4 or 5 months.

**Well, you'd probably be pulling your hair out and avoiding alcohol so you don't get tipsy/horny and want to hump random strangers.

I tried switching universities just to be closer to him but that fell through and I couldn't ask him to give up his job or his life for me. Then out of the blue, he decided to move to be closer to me and again fate was on my side. He got an opportunity within the company he works for to transfer to Liverpool and all I had to do was find a flat for us to live in. The rest as they say is history. We just celebrated our 2 year anniversary, our 1year anniversary of living together and we're also planning a wedding for July/22/2012. It would be 4years to the day that we met online. Friends said we were moving to fast, but you have to risk life in order to live life.

**Some of my friends think I'm insane. They think I can't really know Cayden if I've only seen him a few times. I can't wait to prove them wrong.

I can't believe how long this is but I hope it has been entertaining and sorry that it is so long!! I wanted to share that one crazy moment we had that day we met that started the rest of or lives. No matter how many little fights we have, how many wet towels he leaves on the bed, how annoying he might be or how annoying i might be... he is my forever guy! I forgot how crazy and wonderful it was in the beginning. How heartbreaking and beautiful it was to say goodbye and hello. Your blog reminded me of how lucky I am, and I'm sure how lucky we all are to find a prince charming who lives up to certain expectations.

**They may not always be charming, but there's a boy out there for every girl who will make them feel like a princess.

p.s Also please tell Cayden he has a wonderful name and its on my shortlist for baby boy names.


p.p.s Even if you don't reply, I hope you read this because you're a wonderful inspiration to true love that isn't manufactured by Hollywood. Also, I voted for you at Cosmo so good luck.

**Totally read it, responded, and posted. Oh, and I'm stealing the above bold quote, because it rocks my face off.

Have a nice day,

**A nice day was had :)


  1. Here's the coolest thing of all. Not only do I LOVE your blog, but you share cooooool stories like this one with us as well. It's like several fairytales, woven into one. How awesome is that? Very.

  2. I just read your entire blog. I love it! You're a great writer and your story does sound like it's out of a book. I can't wait to read more!

  3. Tiffany- Well, I can't keep all of these fairytales to myself! They're too good not to share :)

    Kim- Glad you like it! Read more every night... (Well, except for the nights I'm too tired and/or drunk to update)