Monday, August 23, 2010

85. Sex Ed

When it comes to sex, there's a lot you have to learn about one another. What works and what doesn't work. The difference between a good wince and a bad wince. A moan versus a cry. Flexible versus something's dislocated.

Here's what I learned:

1. I was absolutely terrible on top. I lacked any hint of rhythm despite my Cuban background. Oh, and apparently I didn't own quadriceps. My legs would start burning after five minutes, and I'd fight back tears after eight.

2. I didn't like romance. Will would turn on music, and sometimes he'd light a candle. The candle would make it hotter than necessary in the room, and the music only enhanced my complete lack of rhythm.

3. Once you get over the fact that you're naked and spread eagle, you start to enjoy it more. In the beginning, I worried that my stomach creased and made a roll when my legs were over his shoulders. There's just no way to suck it in when your calves are on either side of your own head. I wouldn't want the lights on, because heaven forbid, what if my thigh looked chunky when he squeezed them this way or that? What if our chests suctioned together and made that god-awful farting noise? What if I missed a spot shaving? Finally, I decided, "Fuck it." I stopped worrying and I started enjoying.

4. Sex alone doesn't get me off. I know I'm not alone in this, although a lot of people are afraid to admit it. To this day, I've never once had an orgasm from the basic in and out. If there is such thing as a G Spot, I was born without one. Sure, sex felt great, but it just didn't seal the deal, set off the fireworks, or entice the fat lady to sing. But luckily, thanks to my many years of non-sex experience, I'd discovered other things that make me go mmmmm. Sure, it took a little more coordination on Will's part, but before long we were both closing the deal.

5. Louder is better. I used to think when guy's talked about how loud a woman was in bed, she was either faking it or they were lying. That was stuff of pornos, right? Besides, I'd had plenty of orgasms and never once had I woken my roommates. I didn't realize I was holding back. But with Will I was comfortable enough to open up around him. Little did I know that would lead to me opening my big mouth in the bedroom. I let it all out, I moaned, I ooed, I ahhhed, I gasped. Only then did I realize what an orgasm was supposed to feel like. It also helped Will learn what I liked and didn't like.

So back to what I was saying. I had a lot to learn, and I had to be comfortable with the person I was going to learn it from. I would have been mortified if I'd come to some of these discoveries with people I didn't trust as much as Will.

But things with Will weren't perfect. There was something missing in our relationship. We were best friends by day and lovers by night, which sounds all well and good. But something was off. Neither of us could put our finger on it. By this time it was March of our senior year. We were graduating a two months later and I assumed we'd just enjoy each other until graduation. I had no plans of basing my post-grad decisions on a boy, and he knew that.

One month later, Will broke up with me.

No comments:

Post a Comment