As much as I wish I could tell you that, I can't. I'm not the happiest bride-to-be on the planet. I'm not the happiest bride-to-be in this country, in this state, in my house. Granted, there aren't any other bride-to-bes in my house, but you get the point.
It's been four weeks and we haven't heard a peep. No call. No email. No bicycle messenger, telegraph, or singing telegram. Cayden called the Embassy last week (which costs a whopping $2/minute, by the way) and they wouldn't even open our case. All they said to him was, "additional processing can take anywhere from 2 to 22 weeks depending on the case."
Twenty-two weeks. I did the depressing math. Twenty-two weeks equals five months. And what would we hear in 2-22 weeks? Approval? Refusal? A request for more information? Well, they couldn't tell us that either. Clearly customer service isn't at the top of their list. Either is urgency, sympathy, compassion or sensitivity for that matter.
So, what does it all mean, anyway? Refused under Section 221(g) of the Immigration and Nationality Act? Section 221(g) prohibits the issuance of a visa to anyone whose application does not comply with the provisions of the Immigration and Nationality Act or related regulations. Translation: His Pakistani last name, 9/11 birthday and military background made someone at the Embassy shit their pants. Red flag. Red flag. Red flag.
That's our best educated guess, anyway. Lord knows they won't tell us anything.
I get it. I truly get it. The US Embassy is just being cautious. They have every right to be paranoid about who they let in this country and who they don't. But they knew about his last name, military record and birthday from the get go, so why even approve our petition? Why schedule his final interview? Why get our hopes up if they knew our case was going to require "additional processing"?
Cayden fought for his country and AGAINST terrorism for six years in the Royal Air Force. After that he spent a year working for the London Police department and three years working for the UK's leading youth homeless charity. He's a model citizen, yet that's not enough to comply with the provisions of the Immigration and Nationality Act or related regulations.
I'm sorry I sound so bitter. Tonight's an off night. I've gone from heartbroken to pissed to livid to exhausted to hopeful to depressed to optimistic to enraged and then back through that cycle again. If you'd caught me on a hopeful or optimistic night, I'm sure this post would be a lot less Debbie Downer.
The hopeful nights came when I thought maybe, just maybe, we'd hear back in time to stay on track for his June 1 move and our June 16 wedding. But four days ago I had to let go of that sliver of hope as I sent out my Un-Save the Dates. I couldn't handle it anymore. The questions, "Should we do the bachelorette party or hold off?" "When can I buy my plane ticket?" "The wedding is still on, right?" Each question felt like salt in an open wound. I know no one meant any harm in asking, and I don't blame any of them for their curiosity. I would have been asking the same things. But I was too exhausted to answer anymore, so four days ago, Cayden and I decided it was time to officially postpone the wedding until further notice. As depressing as it was, at least my Un-Save the Dates were pretty. (Mad props to my little sister for the design!)
Enough boo-hooing, I really want to thank you all for your love and support through this and through the past two years of my relationship. Y'all have no idea how much your emails, tweets and comments give me the strength I need to get through all of this. You've all been wonderful, and I don't know if I've ever thanked you for it. So from the very bottom of my slightly battered heart, thank you, thank you, thank you. Also, I love you.
I'm sure there are a handful of questions running through your head that I failed to answer, considering the fact that I did nothing but mope and rant in this blog post. I plan on waking up tomorrow with puffy eyelids and a renewed outlook on life, making tomorrow an optimistic night. Therefore, I'll be answering any questions you might have in tomorrow's blog post. Actually, Cayden will have to answer most of them because he understands this better than I do. A few questions I'll be sure to include in tomorrow's Q&A are:
1. Well, why did you plan a wedding before he was approved in the first place, ya big dummy?
2. Can you get a lawyer?
3. Can't he just come over for a visit and you can just marry him while he's here?
4. Can you go over there and marry him and then bring him back?
5. Didn't Cayden already put in his notice at work? Does he have to un-quit?
6. What's Cayden's reaction to all of this?
7. Ummm.... so now what?
Please add any other questions in the comments section below!