I had the right haircut and ethnicity to go as Dora the Explorer, but I'd toyed with that idea the year before and I was unsuccessful in finding orange shorts. I needed something better. I tried to brainstorm social media-themed costumes but decided the Twitter Fail Whale would make my ass look fat. Then I moved onto movie ideas. My all-time favorite movie of the year was Bridesmaids. If I could get my hands on a wedding dress, I could just attach fake poop to the back and go as Mya Rudolph's character when she shits in the street. Unfortunately, I didn't have a spare wedding dress laying around.
Then it hit me. I'd go as Megan from Bridesmaids. My favorite character.
I didn't just look the part. I played the part. No, I didn't shit in a sink or burp-fart in a bridal boutique, but I had every line memorized. And more than once at the party, I heard, "Holy shit. That's good!" I even won the custom contest at work. If Cayden had been there, I would have made him go as Not Air Marshall John. We would have been quite a pair. Joey dressed as Superman. Joyce dressed as Robin Sparkles from How I Met Your Mother. Rae wore a giant QR code on her front and back and when you scanned them, a picture of someone dressed in a penguin costume showed up. Front and back. We were the only ones at the party wearing clothes. Everyone else went as a skanky [insert any animal or profession] or just a skank. I even saw a skanky skunk.
The weekend of Halloween, my couples costume wish came true. Joyce and I found the sweetest costumes at my parents' house. Literally.
We were the cutest candy canes at the party.
The best part about growing up is acting like a kid again.