Thursday, December 23, 2010

Your Stories: Danielle and Josh

Hi Whitney,

So I told you I would send you a longer story about my husband Josh and I and tell you about our fairytale relationship that we have. I did not submit our story for the Kiss the One You Love contest because I did not want to get my hopes up to be able to go to NYC and have the military put a big ol’ DENIED stamp on the leave request.

I met Josh when we were just in high school but at that time we just knew each other in passing and I don’t think we really ever had more than a 2 or 3 word conversation at all when I was at that high school. (I went to 3 high schools in my 4 years)

About 4 years after we had met each other in high school and I had moved away, Josh added me as a friend on MySpace and we started talking just a little bit before he went to basic training. We never talked too much, it was more of a hi how are you doing and that was about it, but when he came home from basic training he had gained confidence and started talking to me again and right when I got out of a relationship, he asked me if I wanted to hang out with him one Friday night.

I was so excited but yet so nervous because I didn’t know if this was a date, if we were hanging out as friends, or what it was. I tried everything on in my closest and decided on very casual clothes of just jeans and a cute shirt since I didn’t know if it was a date or not. Driving over to meet him, my stomach was doing flip flops not really remembering what he looked like in the past, didn’t remember his personality, not remembering too much about him at all.

The minute I saw him, my heart started racing, and hasn’t stopped racing when I see him since that night. We went to dinner and bowling with his cousins, but from the night on we were inseparable and I became his girlfriend very quickly. In one night, I had never laughed or smiled as much as I did then, and it was almost like I fell in love with him in one night.

We spent every waking moment together when one of us weren’t working. We were only 19 years old, but knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We started dating in March and late April we got devastating news that I feared was going to ruin our relationship. He was told that he was expected to go on an 18 month deployment with his army unit in June.

My birthday came around in May, and on my birthday, I realized I was pregnant. Yes, a lot of people are reading this going, oh my, after 2 months, you find out your pregnant, and yes, we both did the same thing. I told Josh that I was pregnant and his reaction was, “I will talk to you tomorrow, I need to think about this tonight.” My heart dropped.

I had heard so many horror stories about new couples becoming pregnant and ended up broken up that I was so scared he was going to dump me. The next morning, he called me when I was at work, and told me he was going to stick by me with whatever decision I made on the baby, he was in love with me and wasn’t going to leave me. I cried for 3 days not knowing what to do, only telling my sister and my Dad.

My Dad was super excited thinking about being a grandpa, but when I told my mom, her reaction was terrible. She told me I screwed up my life, my relationship with Josh was going to be ruined, I was never going to amount to anything now and many other horrible things from there.

June came and luckily Josh’s deployment was cancelled and we made plans to move in together in the next couple months. In August we moved in together. Even though I was pregnant we were still the same couple we were before. Our friends always commented that they wanted a relationship like ours. We always joked, always laughed, and you could look at us and see we were in love.

The next few months came and went without many problems until Halloween, my 28 week check up for the baby. My blood pressure was through the roof, and my doctor admitted me into the hospital thinking we were going to have the baby and she had a very slim chance of surviving at that point. I called Josh hysterical and he rushed over to the hospital crying all the way there because he did not want to lose her either. I was admitted for the weekend and the doctors got my blood pressure under control for the time being and watched for preeclampsia. I was in the hospital every 2 weeks for at least 2 or 3 days up until the time I had our baby.

Addyson was born on January 14th to many peoples amazement. They never thought I would be able to carry her until that point; she was only 3 weeks early. Josh was an amazing father, very watchful, and after having our baby I fell in love with him even more. I didn’t think it was possible, but watching him with her made me realize how lucky I was to have him in my life. We both had to grow up fast and accept the responsibilities of being parents.

My husband and daughter’s song is “There Goes My Life” by Kenny Chesney. It fits them 100% perfect because he was just a kid when we found out we were having a baby and now she is his life.

The week of Valentine’s day, Addyson was colicky screaming for hours every night and Josh knew I was stressed out to the point where when he got home from work I was crying. He took Addyson shopping with him and let me get some sleep. When he came home, he had a huge teddy bear that said “Be Mine” on it, holding a ring box in its hands. He sat down on the couch with me and opened the box. Inside contained my engagement ring. He gave a whole speech about how much he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and told me I changed him into the man he always wanted to be.

We got married on June 20, 2009. It was a perfect wedding. The first year of marriage was almost perfect until January 2010 when we got notified about a for sure deployment coming in August 2010.

Today, I am not only in a long distance relationship, but a long distance marriage with a 2 almost 3 year old child. It is the most difficult thing we have ever been through. There were many times when he was gone for a week, 2 weeks or even a couple 3 weeks trips away from home, but nothing could prepare me for this.

The send off for his unit was terrible. I cried so hard, and Addyson could not understand why mommy was crying. When we said goodbye and he got onto the bus to leave, I felt like I had just lost everything. I have never been in more pain than that. His unit shipped down to Mississippi for 2 months of rigorous training and I got to spend 4 days with him in October before he left for Afghanistan. When I said goodbye for the 2nd time that was even harder than the 1st.

The deployment is extremely difficult. I’m scared every day that something is going to happen to him. We only get to talk about 2 or 3 times a week because he is in the infantry unit and not actually on a base with a lot of communication and he is actual working with the Afghan forces. There have been attacks on the site they are on by the Taliban and all I can do is wake up every day and pray. Pray that today will be the day that I hear from him, pray that I will not get the dreaded visit from anyone in uniform, and pray that time will go fast until I see him again.

My husband will be home in the next couple of months for his 2 weeks R & R period, but that will not be enough. Josh is expected home August 2011 and that seems too far away. I have never missed someone so much it hurts until now. I have very vivid dreams that he is laying next to me in bed and I’ll wake up to tell him something only to realize I am all by myself and cry. Something will happen that is good and I’ll wish more than anything I could tell him, and on my really bad days, I really want to come home, have him hold me and tell me everything is all right and I will have to come home to an empty house.

Addyson misses him like crazy. She wants her daddy all the time and cannot figure out why he is not there. No 2 year old can understand that her Daddy is fighting in a war and she is smart enough, I can’t even promise her that her Daddy will come home because if he doesn’t, she will let me know I promised.

My relationship is still going strong, and the old cliché of distance makes the heart grow fonder is true. Every time I get to talk to him I cherish every word said, the days I will get to spend with him, I will remember those forever and when he comes home and we can be together again, it will mean more than anything to me.



1 comment: