What happened behind the bedroom door that night was something I hadn't experienced before. No, we didn't try a new position or introduce a scary-looking three-pronged sex toy.
We made love.
For all you non-romantics out there, I'm sorry for making you roll your eyes and dry heave with that comment. But it was incredible. As you now know from reading the previous chapters, I'd had sex before--romantic sex, fun sex, rough sex, spontaneous sex--but there's nothing quite like making-love sex.
We didn't light cinnamon-vanilla-scented candles or play slow, sensual music. He didn't tickle me with rose petals or feed me chocolate-covered strawberries and kiss the smudged chocolate off my lips. Logistically, it was the same sex I'd had with Brady, Addam, Will. But with Cayden, every touch felt different. I felt every kiss caress every inch of my body, even if he was only kissing my lips.
It was like my body was hypersensitive to everything Cayden did. But beyond that, there was just a click, a bond, a togetherness. (Insert eye-roll here) It sounds cheesy, I know. And you're probably thinking, "You had sex with him in London, so why are you only now calling it making love?"
Because in London things were uncertain. I'd gone there to find out what was going to happen between Cayden and I. I knew there was a chance that one or both of us wouldn't feel the same way about each other. There was a chance that I'd leave there single, and more confused than ever. (Which, weirdly enough, ended up being the case due to my whole early-morning freak out.)
But since then we'd said, "I love you." We'd fallen madly in love with each other. We'd spent three months craving each other. Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder must have lived 5,000 miles away from a beautiful British man with a heart-melting accent.
I realized then that I hadn't ever had sex with anyone I'd really, truly loved before Cayden. Did I regret that? Hell no. I'd learned a lot of things from sex in my past relationships: things about myself, my preferences, what made me feel sexy and uninhibited and what didn't. If I hadn't experienced those things with the others, I wouldn't have been comfortable with Cayden.
Every girl has things she likes and doesn't like about her body. I like my boobs, I hate my soft stomach. I like my long legs, I hate my thick thighs. All of these likes and dislikes affect how I feel in the bedroom. The first time I was ever naked in front of a guy, I hid my stomach. I hid under the covers. I tried to suck in my stomach as tight as possible until I got lightheaded from not breathing. I wanted every light turned off.
But the more comfortable I got with a guy, the more comfortable I got with myself. When they made me feel sexy, I started to forget the parts I didn't like about yourself, and all I noticed were the sexy parts. Thanks to Brady, Addam, and mostly Duncan (more on that later), I felt like I had the longest legs in the world and the most perfect boobs by the time I was naked with Cayden. And Cayden made me feel beautiful.
So as we lied there out of breath and sweaty, pleased and pleasured, tingling and equally energized and exhausted, I caught myself wondering if it would always be like that with Cayden. I rolled over and rested my cheek on his burning-hot chest. I listened to his heart try to return to a normal speed. He squeezed me tight and kissed my forehead.
"That was amazing, baby. I love you," he said.
"I love you, too."
I pulled myself away from him and checked the time on my phone. It was 7 pm. We had to meet Shanna and Ronnie for dinner in exactly one hour.
"Guess what time it is?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbows and kicking the sheets off myself, giving him a whole view of my naked backside.
He rolled toward me and placed a big, warm hand on my lower back.
"I'm not sure. Dinner time?" he asked.
"Nope. Even better. It's shower time."