Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Your Stories: Lea Relates

I should really stop reading the emails yall send me while I'm at work, because I end up being THAT girl crying in her cubicle. It's not a good look. But I just received an email from my sister's roommate Lea that made me bawl at my desk. I wanted to share it with all of you in case you can learn something from it. But I'm warming you, have your hanky handy!

Even though I semi know you, well at least have met you and know your sister very well, I wanted to share how your blog has effected more than romantic relationships =)

I have been reading your blog now for months. I got a little behind after a trip to the Bahamas and finally got all caught up this week. First I wanted to start by telling you that one of my roommates, Meg (your sister), introduced your blog to me and my other roommate, Marie. It has been something we have all bonded over. One day me and Meg walked in on Marie bawling her little eyes out to your blog. We still regularly poke fun at her about it - Meg and I have always been pretty cynical when it comes to love and relationships, tears are not something we shed over stories or relationships.

At one point this summer right before you went to London Meg, Marie, and I had a consistent text strand of "Whitney Updated!!!" I also recall several times when us three have been at dinner or in the car on our smart phones reading "Fairytale Beginning" because we just couldn't wait to get back to our computers. It has definitely been something that we all share in common and have been able to always talk about, which is much appreciated.

As I mentioned earlier I have always been a relationship cynic - and might still be. I very rarely cry or get emotional, especially at inappropriate times. As much as I love your blog I never thought it would bring me to tears, until yesterday. I was catching up during some downtime at work reading about Will and his story - which brings me to my story. You mentioned how Will lost both his mom and his brother, something Will and I have in common, I immediately started tearing up. I've been there, I know the feeling; I know how bad it hurts and the desperation. As I read the part where he just bluntly texted you "My mom and brother died in a car accident last night," I was thinking ‘who on earth would send such a direct text?’ As I continued reading, the whole day of my mother passing away replayed in my head.

I woke up early in the morning and drove to my dad's house (who lives in Texas where I live). It was my 19th birthday and he had presents for me and my twin sister (they shipped her presents to Missouri where both she and my mom lived). We mutually opened our presents over the phone. After that my sister was going to my mom’s house for the same type of thing. When she got there she found my mom cold and not breathing, all while on the phone with me. Of course I jumped on the next flight home and everything was pretty blurry for a few weeks after that. It isn’t something I tend to replay out in my head but for some reasons Will’s story completely brought me back.

I remember after finding out about my mom, I texted my very best friend, Ray, (also in Missouri) just saying “My mom just died” nothing less nothing more. I couldn’t imagine getting a text like that, what I would do. She was on a trip with her mother three hours away. They were in the car and she turned the car around, no questions asked or anything. She dropped everything and was at my beckon call that week. She took me out to get my mind off of it, she let me cry on her shoulder, she let me tell my morbid jokes, she was there the whole ceremony and the whole visitation. She sat quietly in the back just in case I needed something. She did everything perfectly. Seeing how I don’t remember much about that week, it has never been something I have thanked her for or even really taken the time to appreciate.

After reading about Will I remembered all of these things about how my all of my best friends, specifically Ray, were there for me at the hardest time of my life. I text Ray yesterday and just said “I just read a story and it reminded me that you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. I’m lucky to have you. We’ve been through way too much together and I couldn’t imagine anyone having my back like you always have. Just reminding you that I love you and you will ALWAYS be my very best friend.” I of course had tears rolling down my face and she called me crying and I told her the story.

All week had been a rough ‘mom week’ as I call them. Meg’s mom (your mom), and an awesome mom might I add, had been in town while Meg was sick last week and it reminded me how much I miss mine and how hard it is to go through life without one. Ray of course listen to me vent as usual about all of it. As did Meg and Marie – they took me to the mall after my mid day break down, a much needed break.

I go up to Missouri pretty often and Ray is the only one that takes me out to the cemetery and helps me pick our flowers for both my mom and my brother. She texts me every year on the anniversary of my brother’s death (he died in a hunting accident when he was 14, I was 13) and his birthday just to make sure I’m alright. Every year on my birthday she also makes a point to say ‘it’s okay if you aren’t happy, I know it isn’t an easy day for you. Call me if you need to talk.’

It isn’t everyday that you are reminded to tell the ones you love that they are appreciated and mean the world to you. I just wanted to share my story and say thank you for reminding me that my fairytale beginning may just be with my girlfriends.


1 comment:

  1. Thanks Lea(and Whitney for posting this)! I'm the type of person who only tell the good things to people and keep the bad to myself. I never did text or call anyone other than my sisters when my mom died. It never occurred to me, my mind was numb! But reading this reminded me of my best friend who sat with me and let me cry when my mom was sick and about to die, when everything was just confusing, not being able to grasp reality. I miss my mom, and it is definitely hard to go thru life without her, even tho life was hard with her. Thx for reminding me to appreciate my best friend! Cheers! PS: crying my eyes out over this post!